<P><B><JC>In the beginning
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<P>War, economics, more war, Freddy, Jason, and Bob
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<P>One day in the pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM) it began raining sheep and mice.  This was a very strange occurrence in the pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM). It only happened once or twice a week.  However, when it did happen, all the elves in the land took notice.
<P>For Elves are always on the look out for food.  Especially the juicy, wiggly maggots that have an exquisite nutty flavor.  When the elves get their food they take it away and store it in immense storerooms deep underground away from pigmies and dogs. 
<P>"Oh no!" yelled the Elflord. "The dastardly dwarves are attacking with catapults and dwarven weapons!" he cried in terror. All the elves took to the ramparts with shortbows, longbows, crossbows, rainbow-colored longbows and ballistas.  The battle was large and big.  Hundreds died and hundreds were dying.  Still the battle went on for a 5000 years, until some nearly dead elf found some weed on ground.  The weed conceded him 3 wishes, which were: 1) Beer, 2) More beer and 3) drown the dwarves in beer and then put it in a big barrel.  And the barrel spoke to him, spoke to him with a wondrous voice, and told him wondrous stories of wondrous things, like the existence of web journals and the fact that he should read them.
<P>And he spoke again, and said, "Don't spam. It's bad for your mind."
<P>Then he annihilated the main character and the story ended. But not until he visited the web journal.  Many things have happened since his death.  For instance corporations were banned, and with it all form of advertising had been made illegal.
<P>(Yup, this is where the story takes a new turn...)
<P>However, to substitute for this, wars had been made compulsory. Every year there was an annual war between two nations, which had been decided through arduous selection rounds.  It was an innovative means of population control.  Especially for the mice. Every round was garnered to kill at least 30%, with the final war wiping out another 70% of those who survived.  Then some guy found that if he drank napalm in largely huge quantities, strapped dynamite to himself and ran at the enemy, he could end the battle in a very short amount of time, due to the fact that everyone got covered in searing napalm and the ground melted because of the heat. 
<P>Thus, UK won the war and was obviously the top country. They took over the world, instituted the compulsory serving of tea at breakfast, taught the whole world to speak posh and everyone was happy (Except for the French).  But that didn't matter because the French were wiped out after surrendering one time too many.
<P>Meanwhile, back in Australia, Bob had misplaced his pants. He cried and cried but still no pants!  So he went to the shop and bought some more. Meanwhile, a great and mysterious mystic predicted that there would be trouble in the Middle East, and everyone was flabbergasted at this news. People also played my exceedingly good online RPG, 2010.  Until they realized, "OMG! LOLOLZ!!!!!!1111 IF I R 7YP1NG |_|ND3R 40 WERDS IN MINUTE, GAMESNET GO B00000000/\/\!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 LOLOLZ ROLFLOL!!!!!!!!11111111~"
<P>And so LuminousPath summoned Freddy and Jason to fight it out.  But one of them had intense stomach cramps and hence that he couldn't fight in fair terms; he sent "Candyman" to take his place.  But over the years, Candyman had become too fat and bloated to fight, so it was an easy win.... for the other guy..... who didnt have any cramps... whoever he was..  
<P>These events took place during the latest regime of the Neo-Ultra-Hyper-Naziludicrous Empire know for it's obesity problems and hamburgers that killed little children. Its ruler, seeing that Poland had already been taken, went for Irak.  But then he couldn't find Irak, since it didn't exist. Iraq being the closest match, he just hit it with shit and then grabbed Jason (OBVIOUSLY the one who won... I mean, Freddy's claw things? Puh-LEASE) and threw him at Iraq. He then had a son with a donkey who grew up to come home drunk and immediately take off in midnight hunting expeditions where he hunted nothing but himself.
