<P><B><JC>The Hero
<P>And the return of the Lich elves
<P>
<P>Now the story needed a new main character. It would be found in the most unlikely place: a dumpster in the Incan wilderness. This specific dumpster had a 97.8% chance of producing a hero, and eventually did after the infinite improbability device was conceived.
<P>You are probably noting that that seems like THGTOG. In fact you're right, it's influenced by that; but if it in infinite improbability, would it not have the probability of creating a hero?
<P>Having confused all those who were reading this, something happened. I think some hero emerged from some dumpster in Incan Wilderness... Or something. Anyways, said hero needed to buy some stuff. So he headed off to the Incan flea market. Which was aptly named as it contained mainly fleas, and very little else.
<P>As tends to happen, as the Incan hero was buying hero stuff at the flea market a situation arose that could only be stopped by said hero. Said hero rushed to the situation immediately and saved a poor woman from being hit by a meteor. All the people cheered and said hero felt very gratified, seeing that he has only been a hero for about 20 minutes.
<P>Of course he was needed again soon, this time it was more difficult.  So he went and bought himself a nice big obsidian cudgel, and a jaguar skin of some sort. Now that he looked like an epic hero, he went to fight off the new threat- a tribe of savages that were attacking the eastern boundaries of the kingdom. The savages were in fact cleverly disguised Lich elves.  
<P>When the hero arrived at their camp, the Lich Elves threw off their disguises and appeared as they really were. Bewildered at what these strange creatures were, the hero attempted to strike them down, but was no match for the power of even one of them. They defeated him handily, and took him to their Elflord, where 
<P>there was a vast upside-down party. People were dancing on the ceiling. The hero realized that if he could master this kind of control of gravity he could be a much cooler hero.  And for 50 years, he studied with the Lich Elves. Then he died. Because they forgot to give him eternal life.
<P>As a result there was a big debate on whether to revive him or look for a new hero. After many months of intense arguing it was decided that everyone would go breakdancing. And in the time that they breakdanced, the Spanish came and conquered them. Then the Mexicans came in in an attempt to get revenge for the Spanish holding them in bondage for so many years so long ago. They all died and Mexican food became a delicacy now that it was "the cuisine of a lost race."
<P>Other interesting foods include mutton chops, asparagus and pork meat balls. All of which are eaten as side dishes wherever Mexican food is served. 
<P>
<P>Then suddenly a dragon started H-Bombing a load of people. They took action against this by sending thousands and thousands to their death, in their theory, the dragon will eventually run out of H-bombs.  But by the time he did, few were left.  From the ruins a new civilization came to power:
<P>BIG BAD BENJAMIN!!!
<P>Big Bad Benjamin, and all of his followers, were promptly killed. Meanwhile, the Lich Elves held a great council on whether they should be appearing in this story anymore. They decided that they would form a very small side plot to the main story and have many adventures, most of which would not have space to be included.
