<P><B><JC>Savior
<P>Eris, Elis, someone looking for the soda of the gods
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<P>And the world was once again on the brink of destruction, from like seven different sources. Further the madness of god meat was setting in and causing megalomania. People were starting their own bids for world domination and tearing it apart. It was at this time that someone dug into the annals of ancient history and read:
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<P>The savior was sitting on Eris' left shoulder (which was starting to piss her off as he had been
<P>doing that for pi days) still waiting to be called on
<P>He was never going to be called on now, as everybody was dead. There was nobody to save, so he just sat there, and sat there, and sat there, and sat there, until Eris heaved him off to go get a drink from the frige.
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<P>He realized that though the savior would never be called on now might be a good time to send a postcard. He also vowed to find out what Eris got to drink.
<P>This took him on a journey across wild wildernesses, deserted deserts and vast vastness.  It took him years, and he was always in danger from savage beasts such as wolves, lions and meerkats. But finally he reached his destination, ripped, shredded, torn, broken, and disheveled he collapsed on the ground in front of him stood the frige of the gods, or one god at any rate. Or goddess to be precise. He was however collapsed and could not see the mixture inside of it. The sacred mix of 2 parts orange soda, one part coca cola, one part root beer, and one part cherry coke; in that order, unmixed/stirred/shaken. If he got up he had to find out about this soda, and send the postcard to the saviors forwarding address, left under a magnet on the frige.
<P>He got up. But, just as he was about to set his eyes on the soda of his dreams, he was blinded by the god Elis who had just arrived to get one. She did not appreciate a mere mortal making their way to discover the secret of her drink. In her opinion, it was worse than Polythemus.
<P>And he was in deep shit, but just then, remembering an expert from the book of antagonism he had read at http://www.poee.org/documents/Prime_Minister_Fatty_McGee/Excerpt_from_The_Book_of_Antagonism.htm
<P>He asked, Are you Elis or a misspelling of Eris? Thinking that he would get bonus points for noticing that a seemingly new goddess who had been added to the story was in fact an old one.
<P>Elis smacked him up and down side the head and shouted Im Elis me damn it, god(dess) of soda making! She vowed to stay in the story to make sure people knew her name.
<P>Then Eris turned up. 
<P>* * *
<P>Now he was in doubly deep shit.
<P>Eris drank her soda, complemented Elis, and then the ass kicking began. The eastern continent collapsed as a result, and the last thing he thought before passing out was, I wonder if theyre lovers.
<P>His thoughts of lesbian goddesses were not something new Altair had wondered similar things when making the staff.  (See how I tie the past in with the now?)  But that is one of the things that mortals are not meant to know.
<P>Just then the savior walked in.
<P>The savior had been wondering for a while now about why everybody constantly refereed to himself as the savior. It's not as if he had done any saving or anything, and last time he had been called on to save anything everybody died. He much preferred the name Jack. It suited him quite well he thought. Even though his real name was "Ryan."
<P>	He had once tried to get it changed. He thought Ryan was much more suited to somebody cool who actually did things. All he ever did was get thrown of Eris shoulder. Sometimes he sat in the grass in the park and fantasized about saving people, but it would never happen many millennia ago it would have happened, he could have stopped the invasion and stopped everyone from dying. But the stupid people never called on him. Now he could not fulfill his role because the pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM) had long since passed away.
<P>* * *
<P>One day Ryan decided to do something useful. He decided that since there are so many different types of bellybutton fluff in the world, he would classify them all and publish his findings in some obscure scientific journal that only 67 people read, and about the same number have heard about it.
<P>However the 67 who read it are not the 67 who have heard of it. This was just one of the interesting things going on in the civilization built the ruins of the civilization built on the ruins of the civilization built ... 
<P>...built on the ruins of the civilization ...
<P>...on the ruins of the civilization built on ...
<P>...ruins of the civilization built ...
<P>...the ruins of the pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM).
<P>Other interesting things included chickens with under feathers on top of their over feathers, Robin Hat and his married women and, and a small sad former savior who was writing a thesis on bellybutton fluff. 
<P>His saviorness was supposed to prove that small people could do little things, that turned into big things, that were bigger than big people could do, and changed the course of history but now the savior of the pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM) couldn't do that because the stupid people didn't call on him and now there was no pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM) left to save. Thoughts like this disturbed the writing of his paper.
<P>In the end it turned out to be a carefully thought out and concisely written entertaining paper that both proved and disproved the existence of a god at the same time. This was not a big issue in any of the recently incarnated universes though because it was obvious that gods did exist in all of them. Everybody could tell because they all kept messing around with existence and the order of the universe.
<P>It was then that Elis walked in, reading a copy of the paper and reminding everyone that she vowed to stay in the story.  She was pleased that the paper proved that she existed. She had been campaigning this for years, even though everybody already agreed with her. But she was not pleased that is proved that she didnt exist, as far as she was concerned, it was a blatant fallacy (which it was). She vowed to punish Ryan in such a way that nobody had ever been punished before.
<P>So she did the worst punishment she could think of she gave him a candy bar. A very good candy bar (It was the worst punishment she could think of so she assumed that it had not been done before.)
<P>Ryan stopped being able to sleep. He had been given a candy bar, what could this mean? It wasn't very dangerous looking, but he had no idea what it could do to him. Maybe it was a magic candy bar, and if he ate it, it would choke him. Or maybe at night it would turn into a evil creature which would tear him limb from limb. He kept it in the frige on the other side of his room where he slept, but he couldn't sleep. Not now. Not while the candy bar was there
<P>Elis began to wonder if her punishment was failing to be so original. Giving something nice was original but psychological torment of this type was not. She decided to wait one paragraph and then consider helping him enjoy the candy bar.
<P>She waited one paragraph. Unfortunately it was one paragraph too long. At the end of this paragraph Ryan will decide "what the hell, I'm eating it anyway". This will mean that he will have eaten it and will never be able to enjoy it (and for reasons soon known to everybody he did not enjoy eating it one bit). So Eris was unable to allow him to enjoy it. It happens.... now. After 3 days of not sleeping Ryan was getting desperate, he decided to eat the candy bar. He walked over to the frige and opened the door. "It's just you and me candy bar" he said, trying to summon up the courage to reach inside, "just you and me". Then the realized this was not a good thing to say to himself because if the candy bar was evil there would be nobody else to help him. "NO!" he shouted in his head. "I will not play these mind games any longer! I am not ruled by the might of a single candy bar. I will eat this and I will eat this now!". This said he slowly reached in and tentatively touched the bar with an outstretched finger, only to quickly draw it back. Nothing happened. More boldly now he grasped the candy bar with both hands and torn at the wrapper. He was in a frenzy now. His mind had snapped, the terror had taken over him, but in the depths of his mind he knew that the only thing that would make it go away was to face his nemesis, and eat the candy bar. With his shaking hands, only just under his control he forced the cold rectangle to his lips. With a cry he shoved the whole thing in his mouth and chewed. He chewed with all hid might, desperate to rid himself of the object of his fear. He swallowed, and let out a deep breath...
<P>Elis put her hand on his head, jumped in fear (she was behind him so he had no idea where the hand had come from.) Eris jumped out from behind the frige and was laughing so hard she could barely stand, for she had watched the whole thing from the moment he got the candy bar.
<P>Elis felt bad and gave him a magic candy bar to make up for it.
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<P>This one had small wings on it and would fly around. Ryan felt bad about eating it because it was like it was alive. He was also annoyed because it was so easy to confuse Elis and Eris.  Elis decided to change her name. So one of those big councils that does very little was called together to pick a new one.
<P>This council did not have very many people who knew much of the history of the goddess. This meant that the name they chose was completely unsuitable for a goddess of her type. Her type being the Goddess of Soda Making/Mixing and Soda/Soft Drinks in General. Also the possible lover of Eris. She was a laid back goddess. The name was positively wretched, it being Hank. 
<P>This enraged everybody, and Hank burned the council down, but, alas, the candy bar melted also.  Which sucked, so she named herself Julie, and went to get the savior another candy bar.  While she was away people licked up the melted candy bar, it made them very strange.
<P>This strangeness was very strange indeed. Nobody had ever remembered feeling quite this strange before. It was the type of strangeness you get when something very strange does something very strange in a strange way, which causes a strange thing to happen which, gives you a strange feeling. Overall, a very strange occurrence indeed.
<P>This caused vast things to happen, which changed the world again.
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<P>But one man became even stranger, because of this he had the powers of a god.  His name was Isaqu. And he vowed to protect the people of the civilization built the ruins of the civilization built on the ruins of the civilization built ... 
<P>...built on the ruins of the civilization ...
<P>...on the ruins of the civilization built on ...
<P>...ruins of the civilization built ...
<P>...the ruins of the pseudo-mythical land of Flibberdy-goop (R)(TM).  Which we will call Kyle for brevity.
<P>Ryan and Kyle had a love hate relationship. Kyle loved Ryan, because Kyle loved everything living which populated him, and Ryan hated Kyle for not being a world he was capable of saving.  And Isaqu destroyed Ryan and built Alangistan, which made Kyle very angry. Isaqu was not alive and had destroyed something that was alive. A holy war began. Kyle vs Isaqu
<P>So, because of his powers, Isaqu easily won and destroyed Kyle and in its place he built a mini mall. After the death of Kyle the war really took off. A lot of people lost their homes. And so it became the living people of the former Kyle against the dead Isaqu.
<P>Lich elves considered getting involved, seeing as how they werent alive either. But they refrained. Meanwhile Julia (Elis) was pissed, she had started to like the savior a lot, he seemed like a nice kid (being a goddess all non-gods were kids to her.) Eris was pissed because Julia was pissed. Other gods thought about getting involved, it was in all senses a Holy War.
