<COMMENT>PC Gamer</COMMENT>
<P><B><JC><DC=57,163,202>Open letter: Atavism vs. Altruism</JC>
<P><B><JC>by Richard Cobbett</JC>
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<P>Dear Fantasyland,
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<P>Thank you for your recent plea for assistance, however unfortunately, I must decline. You see, I have recently gazed upon the map of your fair realm, and my eye could not fail to be drawn to your chosen starting location - the giant spider's cave - or the giant spider temple in the middle of a web-strewn forest shaped, or so it would appear, like a giant spider.
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<P>Do you not realise how upsetting this is for many of us heroes? Have you ever looked at a giant spider? Heck, have you even looked at a regular spider, up close? Well, imagine that, only the size of a cow, and trying to chew off your face. You see my problem here. It's got eight legs, hair, and fangs. Its idea of lunch is to melt its prey and drink it up as if through a straw. They move at incredible speed, their legs flying across any surface, ready to drop down from on high, or scuttle out of a gap when you least suspect it. They gather in groups; in flocks; in crawling, squawking, hero-slaying battalions of eight legged little bastards that scream at our innermost atavistic fears and call back to such deep-seated terror that the strongest of man might fall back blubbering.
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<P>You want me to fight an army of these things?
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<P>Sod off.
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<P>I don't care that you consider the giant spider to be an opening level enemy. Sure, they fall fast enough if you stick your sword through them, but if you want to do that, you're in for a face full of fangs, of hair, and the barely digested scent of either adventurers or giant flies on their breath. You've got to wander around hearing that 'scuttle-scuttle-scuttle' against the bare rock, and the constant fear that one may be missing - one big one, or even a small one. A little black widow; the giant spider's pet, crawling up your back with its fatal sting that no amount of health potion quaffing will be able to amend. Or a tarantula; its big, hairy-