<P>I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously going to try and get an alibi by being at the Dean's office. I look up his username and find his department. I ring the Dean's secretary.
<P>
<P>"Hello?" she answers
<P>
<P>"Hi, SIMON, B.O.F.H HERE, LISTEN, WHEN THAT GUY COMES RUNNING INTO YOUR OFFICE IN ABOUT 10 SECONDS, CAN YOU GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?"
<P>
<P>"I think so..." she says
<P>
<P>"TELL HIM `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE'"
<P>
<P>"Um. Ok"
<P>
<P>"AND DON'T FORGET NOW, I WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT FILE IN YOUR ACCOUNT WITH YOUR ANSWERS TO THE PURITY TEST IN IT..."
<P>
<P>I hear her scrabbling at the terminal...
<P>
<P>"DON'T BOTHER - I HAVE A COPY. BE A GOOD PERVY AND PASS THE MESSAGE ON.."
<P>
<P>She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was just guessing about the purity test thing. I grab a quick copy anyway, it might make for some good late-night reading.
<P>
<P>Meantime backups have finished in record time, 2.03 seconds. Modern technology is wonderful, isn't it?
<P>
<P>Another user rings.
<P>
<P>"I need more space" he says