<P>"Is this the Operators?"
<P>
<P>"Yes it is" I say, nice as pie
<P>
<P>"Could you get my printouts out please. I need them urgently, and I printed them over 5 minutes ago"
<P>
<P>"Your username?" I ask
<P>
<P>He gives it to me, and I write it down for later. "No worries at all!" I say, and head to the printers.
<P>
<P>There's a HUUUUUUUGE pile of printouts there, and sure enough, his is at the top of the pile. I pick it up, split it out of the rest and pour our ink- stained cleaning alcohol all over it, run it over a couple of times with the loaded tape trolley then slam it in the tape safe door some times as well.
<P>
<P>Beautiful.
<P>
<P>"Here's your printout" I say "Sorry about the delay, we've got a few printer problems."
<P>
<P>He takes a look and shits himself.
<P>
<P>"Well, can I print it again?" he asks, worried
<P>
<P>"Sure you can" I say "But no promises, the printer's a bit stuffed today"
<P>
<P>"Well can I print it on laser - is that working?"
<P>
<P>"Yeah of course, but that'll cost you" I say, oozing compassion for the geek
<P>
<P>"It doesn't matter about the cost, THIS IS URGENT!"