<P><B>The Scientific Way of Doing Things
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<P>Developed at the precise moment everyone thought science was just a passing fad, the Scientific Way of Doing Things formalized the approach scientists would take to remove knowledge from human minds, allowing the field to flourish and fully separate itself from its mystic beginnings.
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<P>The Scientific Way of Doing Things is strictly adhered to by all respectable scientists and involves 6 steps:
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<P>1. Find a piece of information you dislike. In our example, we will use the statement "1+1=2"
<P>2. Form a statement which will take its place ("1+1=Dolemite")
<P>3. Email this statement to everyone you know. Include the subject line "FWD: dide u knoe..."
<P>4. Publish an article in a peer-reviewed journal.
<P>5. Brush your teeth. A fresh smile adds a layer of believability.
<P>6. Profit.
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<P><B>Things We Can Thank Science For
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<P>- Bill Nye
<P>- Nuclear weaponry
<P>- Cloning a sheep
<P>- Viagra
<P>- The Segway
<P>- Breast implants
<P>- Something else that isn't a cure for cancer